Here is the original link on HBT.
“…so there I was, with my elephant gun held at chest level as the beast looked me in the eyes. It showed no hesitation and sprinted immediately towards me. I calmly raised my weapon and put him in my sites. As it was about to make the leap that would spell certain death for me I pulled the trigger. The shot went just under the neck and propelled it backward and fell on the soft grass. I hauled the corpse, skinned it and that’s how this rug currently adorns my fireplace”. Craig adjusted his bathrobe and crossed his legs, puffing a bubble as he finished his tale.
“So… let me get this straight, this was at Citizens Bank Park? And you shot the Phanatic? Craig you now that’s a guy in a suit right?”, said Tiffany.
“HE started it!” exclaimed Craig, just a touch defensive about the topic. “It’s a Jungle out there in Philly! You can never be too care- Oh wait he’s toeing the rubber.” Craig turned to the 70″ LED flat screen mounted inset at the wall above the fireplace displaying a baseball game.
Tiffany turned as well reaching for her soda. “What’s the pitch count again? 2-1? It’s easy to lose track of these things. Good thing you have your stories Craig, otherwise I’m not sure how we’d pass the time between pitches in these Boston-New York games.”
Another fun topic because Yankees and Red Sox are notorious for being slow on the mound and slow on the plate. I believe one Red Sox starter was clocked at accumulating 30 minutes in pauses on the mound in one game. OUCH!
I was a bit unhappy with this piece after writing it though because it feels needlessly violent on the poor Phanatic. Just assume Craig is pulling Tiffany’s leg on how he actually obtained that rug…