The link to the original post on HBT here:
Craig looked smug. He had added new functionality to his wonderful machine. The box now had settings on its panel. He pushed the button so it switched from “Jackass-ness to MVP-ness”. He had two new bobble head figures on his table. Granderson and Bautista. He put both on his machine (it was able to do comparisons). Brushing off a piece of lint on his bathrobe (must change dry-cleaners) and biting on his bubble pipe he pushed the tan button. The machine rumbled and it scanned both figures with its light.
It called out: “Acquiring subjects: A, Granderson, B, Bautista. Commencing analysis.” It then proceeded to recite a long list of statistics for both players. Craig was starting to zone out when it declared the results: “Analysis Complete: Bautista’s MVP-ness is larger than Granderson’s.” As expected of course!
This piece is adolescent in its humor (obviously). I will succumb to temptation from time to time. However, I should have spent a bit more time polishing and expanding the text since the idea here is that Craig, being a man capable of lending gravitas to a bathrobe and a bubble pipe, would be quite unaware of coining this term for his machine to use. That did not really come across as I hoped it would.