The Lair examines the question of being a Jackass

Here is the original link to HBT

It seems Craig manages to piss off a different fan base on a weekly basis. Par for the course. Take this Nyger Morgan and Albert Pujols business. Anyone with an ounce of sense acknowledges that Nyger has put both the jack and his ass in jackass on a consistent basis throughout his career. To try to argue that Pujols is somehow in the same league of Jackass-ness as this clown was laughable.

Nevertheless Craig felt compelled to determine this scientifically. Adjusting his bathrobe and chewing his pipe with purpose he strode to a table where a machine sat built specifically for this experiment. Quite unassuming it was basically a large rectangular box with a display and a glass fixture on top. It bore a great resemblance to many an office multi-function printer-copier.

He had two bobble head figures also on this table, one of Morgan and one of Pujols. He set the Pujols one on the machine’s surface and pressed the big tan button on the right said. The machine rumbled as a bright scanning light passed over the Pujols figure… the machine intoned: “Jackass-ness detected. Well within acceptable parameters. Margin for error less than 0.005%”. Puffing a few bubbles Craig was satisfied and removed the Pujols figure. Now he placed the Morgan one on the machine and pressed the button again. The scanning machine went through its routine again but this time the bright light stayed on the Nyger figure and it started to glow. Craig cooly picked up eye protection from his pocket and placed them on top of his specs without missing a beat. “Jackass-ness detected. Dangerous levels registered. WARNING. WARNING!” The glow briefly blinded Craig and the machine shut down.

As the light in the room returned to normal, Craig confirmed his suspicions: on his machine, what previously held a Nyger Morgan bobble-head had transmogrified into a Donkey plush doll from Shrek. Quite appropriate.

Nyjer Morgan always seems to be in the spotlight from time to time due to some unfortunate incident unbecoming of a baseball player. Craig had an earlier post pointing out Morgan’s poor behavior. Brewers fans took to the twittersphere to point out to Craig that while Morgan is a bad apple, most other athletes are real jerks as well, they just hide it better, or something to that effect. In any case said Brewers fans were making a big fuss on Pujols being as big a jackass as Morgan. Craig naturally posted something snarky on HBT. I think this small piece reflects his attitude pretty well.

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