The Lair moves to DEFCON 2!

The link to the original HBT post is here.

Craig had set his alarm in time for his meeting. After chasing the cobwebs away he stretched in his Batman PJs and headed for the library. The room was generously furnished with shelves filled with books on every conceivable tpoic on the subject of Baseball. A grand elegant piano stood in the middle of the room. Craig walked to the piano and pressed several notes in precise order. A hidden door recessed into the far wall revealing a pole.

Craig went into opening of the wall and slid down this pole which lead to the Craig Lair. Upon arriving at the bottom he was attired in his Braves Bathrobe. He casually took the bubble pipe from his pocket and puffed a few bubbles.

He walked into the situation room where his 1995 Braves Championship Team painting, sitting on top of the fireplace, was already giving way to his 70″ LED Screen. On it, were displayed several headshots of people he was meeting.

“Gentlemen”, he said. “And Lady”. He nodded to Tiffany in recognition. He sat down on his high chair and rubbed his feet on his plush Phanatic Rug. “The situation is grave. The team is in danger of a playoff Collapse. I need not remind everyone of the Phold of ’64, the Boston Massacre of ’78 or the Metzi Scheme collapse of ’07″.

“Is that what this is about?”, Drew complained.

“Craig, I run a Twins blog, what do I care-” began Aaron. However he never finished as Craig interrumpted.

“Silence! There will be order in this meeting!” Stunning everyone, Craig pressed a button on his chair and the screen rearranged the headshots while placing a new one in the middle.

“Here is the primary threat,” declard Craig. “Composed of an armored chasis and sophisticated sensors and great strength it is surrounded by living tissue. It is relentless. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, remorse or fear. And it absolutely will not stop ever, until the Braves are eliminated. Oh and it’s a massive Jackass!”

“Wait,” said Tiffany. “Isn’t that Albert Pujols?”

Here I touch on two things: the Braves slump and Albert Pujols. Craig posted something to the effect that he wouldn’t start worrying about the Brave’s playoff chances unless they were swept by the Cardinals during the weekend… and of course they were swept. Also Pujols’ heroics were responsible for some of the damage, so naturally Craig decides that Brewer’s fans were right all along: Pujols is really a Jackass! Not to mention the fact that everyone associates Pujols with being some sort of cybernetic machine, which is understandable considering how fast he healed a wrist fracture earlier in July and has proceeded to make up for lost time and destroy opposing team’s pitching at every opportunity… yikes!

I can imagine a pitcher on the mound facing Pujols and Kyle Reese by his side saying: Come with me if you want to live! Well except for Roy Halladay, he’s practically Robocop so that’s a machine vs machine matchup. And so far Pujols is 0 for 4 against Halladay.

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