The Lair sends the Craig Blimp into action!

The original HBT post is here.

The blimp had been making it’s way across Pennsylvania for the last hour and had finally arrived at south Philly. About 350 feet long, it was white with a few red lines running across it. The tail fin on the blimp had the letters CC on it a diagonal pattern. The blimp floated across the Schuylkill River and followed the I-76 until it turned sharply towards Citizen’s Bank Park. It cast a shadow over the infield as it rotated so the side was visible. A rectangular section lit up like a huge TV screen rivaling many a jumbotron! Craig’s face as visible as he looked annoyed and a little irate. More than usual anyway. The pipe was sticking out of his mouth puffing bubbles like mad. He took the pipe out of his mouth with a hand as his voice boomed over a large set of speakers mounted on the blimp.

“Philadelphia Phillies fans, it’s time you knew the truth. Ryan Howard is not a great baseball player! Don’t get me wrong, he’s a good guy and plays above average baseball. Acceptable but unspectacular defense, good slugging and a very intimidating way of holding the bat. But worth $25 million dollars a year? I don’t think so! At least you let Jayson Werth walk or you’d have two massively overpaid players on your roster.”

“That being said, I’m willing to let bygones be bygones for once this season. For a whole long weekend. A Truce. Let us be civil in our baseball discourse and bask in the glory that is September Baseball and Pennant Races, such as they are at this time. That will be all!”. The screen on the blimp shut off and it slowly started rotating again.

In the Lair, Craig had pressed a button on his high chair, and the transmission ceased on his end. The blimp would automatically turn and make its way back towards Ohio of its own accord.

“We can do HBT Daily now Tiffany,” he said, turning towards her mini-screen, inset on his 70″ LED Display.

“If I knew you’d be doing that, I would have thought twice about getting air traffic control clearance for you. So what’s this about a Truce?”. She emphasized the word truce. You could hear the capital T in her voice as she smirked at him.

Craig, sort of waived dismissively. “Well, just surrendering to the inevitable. The Phillies will clinch the Division shortly so why build up any more animosity?”.

Tiffany replied, “So the fact that they’re playing St. Louis this weekend has nothing to do with it?”

Craig, looked innocently while saying, “Uh… no.”

“Then what’s that Ryan Howard bobble head doing there on your table?”

Craig bit on his pipe while looking sheepish and said, “I’ll… dispose of it… after Monday…”

Craig’s famous for scoffing at Phillies’ Phans over Ryan Howard. On this date’s ATH (And That Happened, for those unaware of HardBallTalk lingo), he was particularly snarky after Howard hit the game winning walk off double in the 10th. Something tells me he would have much preferred that Cliff Lee had not let that cutter over the heart of the plate in the 9th. He would rather be discussing the NL Cy Young Race than Ryan Howard I’m sure.

The Pennant races did not have much drama starting September, but we have two possible johnny-come-latelys: The Tampa Bay Rays and the St. Louis Cardinals. Both of these are for the wild card race. Much has been made in the media about the recent slide of the Red Sox and the surge of the Rays. They are playing a dramatic four game series in Boston this weekend and already Tampa Bay has taken game 1 in a convincing 9-2 thrashing of the BoSox. If Jimmy Fallon’s character from Fever Pitch were real he’d be having a stroke by now.

The Cardinals can theoretically threaten the Brewers and the Braves, being 5.5 games back from the division lead and 4.5 back from the wild card. But with only 13 games left it would take a collapse of Metzian proportions by the Braves/Brewers for that to happen. Hence, Craig’s support for the Phillies this weekend to thoroughly trash the Cardinals and end this nonsense once and for all!!! nyak, nyak, nyak!

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