He couldn’t take his eyes away! The Brave’s holiday greeting video was engrossing but in an embarrassing way. It was like watching a train wreck, with the Braves logo on the train! The music only made it worse. Everyone looked so phony! He was certain he would have nightmares of Derek Lowe reaching for him with an extended shriveled hand out of the TV screen! (71″ now, BTW). His bubble pipe was utterly forgotten on the Phanatic rug, spilling its contents all over it. Then mercifully it was over. Just watching that gave him the shivers. He adjusted his Braves bathrobe again.
Then his phone rang.
He reached for it automatically (odd, usually calls were routed to his TV screen). His wife gave it to him as a present this Christmas. It was one of those novelty baseball phones (Har, har, where’s my real present?)
“Hello?”, he said tentatively.
“Seven Days,” answered a spooky girlish voice, which then hung up.
It was quite some time before he could stop staring at his phone.
No, the Lair hasn’t gone Supernatural! I’m pretty sure someone is playing a prank on poor old Craig! Just as Craig was mysteriously able to force choke someone a few months ago through some unseen subterfuge, I’m pretty sure someone was able to time this prank just right! Who was it though? Gleeman? Drew? D.J.? Tiffany? The world may never know…
As for the Braves off-season moves (or lack thereof), they’ve tried trading away Martin Prado and Jair Jurrjens. You know things don’t look too good when Dan Duquette and the Orioles turn you down. At least they got rid of Derek Lowe…