The Lair prepares for Opening Day!

Opening Day! Well… Opening Weekend!

“And that’s a wrap Craig!”, said Tiffany. “We’re finally back.”

Craig sat back in his high chair, puffing a bubble or two on his pipe, before replying. “Indeed we are my dear Tiffany, this year promises to be even more entertaining than last year. The storylines, the players, ex-teammates facing each other. We already have the Ubaldo-Tulo feud at full speed.”

“Oh, that reminds me,” said Tiffany, looking at her notes on a clipboard. “I did call Joe Torre and he said he’s doing his utmost to ensure Ubaldo’s suspension is upheld.”

“Good man Joe, I despise these little beaning wars,” said Craig, biting on his bubble pipe. “There was a time for that, when Baseball was not the civilized sport it is today. In this day and age there is no place for 90+ mph fastballs potentially maiming baseball players. You want to watch athletes inflict pain on each other? There are other so-called sports you can watch for that.”

“You mean like Hockey?”

“Is that the one where the throw the ball into a net to score?”

“It’s not actually a ball.”

“No ball? Then how can it be a sport?”, said Craig with a suspicious expression on his face. Like Tiffany was pulling his leg or something.

She looked at her watch. “Well, I have to be going Craig, I’ll see you next time to record the next HBT Extra.” She said goodbye and her face disappeared from the screen.

Craig leaned back in his chair, adjusting his bathrobe, rubbing his feet on the Phanatic rug. Opening Weekend. His large LED 71″ screen split into several smaller screens showing all the previews and highlights for the exciting match-ups. Pujols was on one screen, Fielder in another. Valentine with another straight-shooting unfortunate comment. Yeah, it’s no coincidence this week was Good Friday.

“So, it has begun…”, he declared with anticipation.

I am undecided as to whether alter-Craig can actually name a sport other than baseball… So I did a slight touch up here not present in the comment section.

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