Man it’s so hard to keep up with these when you have tons of work and have to take care of two little babies at the same time. I barely have time to keep up on HBT. The World Cup is afoot and I live in an Italian neighborhood, so yeah you pretty much KNOW when they score and win even if the TV is off. Ah, let’s see who else has been watching World Cup Madness and yesterday’s Team USA’s epic match against Ghana:
Kay Adams turned on her display as the call to Craig went through. Craig’s bathrobed figure appeared as usual, on his high chair with the bubble pipe in hand.
“Good Morning Craig, Beautiful Day isn’t it!?”
“Meh! I guess it’s sunny outside”. Craig looked a bit indifferent to her cheerful mood, she looked carefully at the screen and noted a small army of bobble head figures. She pointed at them.
“What are those? Don’t tell me I have to categorize them.”
Craig looked puzzled momentarily and then he noticed her pointing at the bobble head figures.
“Oh these? No, heavens no. These are from the Phans. Whenever the Phillies defeat the Braves – an admittedly rare event, like a comet passing by – I usually get one or two of these in the mail. Today I got the whole roster.”
“What are you going to do with them?”
“Oh the usual.”
She cringed. “Ouch, I would not want to one of those guys.”
“Someone should check on Joe, Fredi issued two intentional walks last night in the same inning.” Craig shook his head in amazement while puffing a few more bubbles from his pipe.
Kay perked up a bit. “Well Team USA won yesterday so there’s that.”
Craig went back to being puzzled. “Team USA? The World Baseball Classic was last year and the next isn’t for another three. Is there some other tournament I missed.”
She rolled her eyes. “Craig don’t be silly. The World Cup. I know you live in a lair but you should have heard of this. No? The world Soccer tournament?.”
“You know, the sport with the ball and the net.”
“I though that was basketball.”
“No. This net is closed at the back.”
“They throw a ball into that?”
“No Craig, in Soccer you can’t use your hands.”
“Wait, What-? How do they move the ball around?”
“They kick it.”
“Kick-? Dear Lord, at least in the NFL they abuse each other, not the ball. That’s about as UN-american as putting anything other than mustard on a hot dog.”
Kay pouted a bit. “You can put other things on a hot dog.”
“Let’s get back to real sports Kay, and I’m not talking about the Gumbel show either. Chop, chop, there is tons of baseball to view and report today.”
She sighed. He could be so difficult some days.
I have no idea what the real life Kay Adams puts on her hot dogs (if she even eats them). But for our purposes, fictional Kay Adams likes to put (in addition to mustard) relish, a dash of ketchup, mayo and if she’s really in the mood for it, sprinkle some broken down bits of potato chips. Yum.
September! We’re in the home stretch of the divisional and wild card races, teams jockeying for position! Here’s how Craig spent his early morning in the lair:
Leaning back in his high chair, Craig adjusted the collar of his Braves bathrobe and extended a hand over to the side table. He picked up his bubble pipe, did a refill and puffed a few bubbles while perusing the various news outlets on his 71″ LED screen.
His ZuperZmartTV also had the various social apps (with customized modifications naturally) as the software pointed out interesting trends or topics of interest. Aside from the HBT community whining over his artistic license over the descriptions of some of the baseball games, not much was going on this morning.
Except of course, for a vocal obnoxious #BravesSwept tag on twitter by the self styled Phans aimed at Craig. It seems to happen at least once every September (either the Braves suck so they get smashed or they’re so far ahead they don’t care).
Naturally such insolence could not go unchallenged. Craig paused his puffing long enough to us his integrated chair keyboard to type out a response:
#BravesSwept Look at the standings Phans! There will be NO Treaty, No Vaccine and NO Playoffs for you!
He chuckled as the rabid responses were not long in coming. Now it was crunch time as the playoffs beckoned.
Friday Night: It was tense in the Lair. The Braves-Cardinals game has had some tough moments to watch (Oh Chipper what the HELL kind of throw was that?). Craig had already gone through TWO boxes of bubbles in his pipe! After a third reload he kept puffing furiously as he watched the next pitch on his 71″ LED screen. Leaning forward as Simmons took a whack at the ball. Oh no! A lazy popup. Kozma going back. Seems to have it. But wait at the last minute moves away! Was he thinking Holliday called him off? The ball dropped! Awesome- wait what-
“Infield Fly! Holbrook you fiend!,” Craig jumped out of his high chair, and immediately pressed a button on his armrest.
“Sir?”, said the nondescript voice.
“Implement General Order 66.” Craig declared ominously.
“Right away sir.”
“Craig kept watching the field as Fredi argued with Holbrook and… wait what was this? BRAVES fans throwing stuff on the field! FOR SHAME! What the heck was this. He didn’t order that! He pressed the button again:
“What the heck is that crap on the field!??”
The voice came back uncertain, “Uh, you said to implement order 66 sir.”
Craig would have pulled out his hair if still had any! “No! No! No! Order 66 is to send a strongly worded letter to Bud Selig on this abomination of a call. What I’m seeing is General Order 99!!!”
“Uh, Ok. Umm… Oops?”
Craig loves to troll Phillies fans, I’ll just point out this little incident anytime talk comes up of how rowdy and unruly the Phans can get.